Lucky Guy

So, I found out I passed the bar exam on Nov 5th. I went to Chicago to celebrate with my best friend, L. She threw a party Friday night, then we went to the ND v. Navy game in South Bend Sat. We had such a good time. Sunday, we went and did some touristy stuff in the city.

There happened to be a Trans photo-documentary at the Northwestern University Social Sciences Library. It consisted of 5 bios of transfolks and several photos of each. It was really cool. It was so validating to read that many of the subjects had had similar feelings to mine. Particularly how one transguy hated being called "butch." Because he was never butch... he is a guy. I have had that exact conversation with L when I was trying to figure out why "butch" offended me so much before I had come to terms with my trans status. There were many other examples...I almost started crying right there in the library. I felt less alone in those moments than I had in months. I have lots of support but it is funny how just knowing others all over the country have the same feelings. It kinda makes you feel like you aren't crazy. I have experienced this while watching Youtube vids too. L said she gained a lot from it because it was like, "Yeah, I have heard 90% of this before."

Then, I came back to Austin and had dinner with W to celebrate. Then, the people at the office brought a huge spread to celebrate last Friday. Today, a group of the paralegals walked into "my" office, bottles of sparkling cider in hand and said we were going to toast to my passing the bar! It just keeps going! Oh, and Monday was the swearing in and my folks came up and took me and my kids to a very nice lunch after the ceremony. I love it.

Having all these people to celebrate with sure makes me feel like a lucky guy.

And I have a second date with a really amazing woman tonight. She is straight and does not know about my trans status. But she will tonight. I am going to tell her before things go too far. I really hope she can understand my plight and can accept the hand I have been dealt. But that seems like high hopes. Then again, people do keep surprising me. We shall see.

I'm a lucky guy, either way and eventually will have that special person in my life. Hope is good.