6 month update

So, it has been 6 months on T now. I figured you might be wondering about any recent physical changes. Well, at this point, I think my body weight has stabilized,though I am continuing to see a shift in the body fat distribution. I have very little extra weight in my thighs but have to be careful about getting that spare tire thing going.

I recently purchased a pull up bar that mounts in my door frame and have been doing pull-ups (which I have never been able to do before). I am amazed at how quickly my shoulders have bulked up and my abs are tightening up. My body has always responded quickly to exercise but I could have worked out like a maniac before and never gotten this buff. It is certainly nice to finally be getting that tapered look. Thanks to my hips, which due to childbirth will never be slender, I still look pretty stocky. But that is fine. I will say that more muscle in my pecs makes binding even less comfortable. But overall, it is worth the trade off for the increased bulk.

I now have sparse but present whiskers on either side of my chin and upper lip. Not nearly enough to see from any distance or grow as "facial hair" but they are there, some blonde, some black. I shave every other day or so to avoid it being so obvious that there is so little there. I am not sure my Irish/Native American blood is helping much.

I have full on body hair now that has gotten to the point that I manscape pretty regularly. My belly has hair all over it, my upper thighs too. My arm hair is darker and thicker but not curly or anything.

My face has continued to square off. I actually pulled out some old pics of me a couple of my trans buddies were over and we were all amazed by the difference. PC said he couldn't believe that was me- even though he first met me pre-T. My neck has thickened up and this helps tremendously.

My voice has dropped a TON. I never get ma'am'ed or ms.'d on the phone anymore, which is so nice. It is to the point now where people are voluntarily noticing and changing my gender marker to M on accounts and stuff. Also nice.

My sex drive has leveled off a bit. I mean it is still crazy but not like at first. I am single now so I am navigating that and the interesting world of straight women flirting with me, sometimes shamelessly. Their games are complex and perplexing. They know they are attractive and they use their sex appeal to draw you in, to feel good about themselves... but over all women talk about not wanting to be treated like sex object... so confusing. But I digress.

My feet continue to grow, as evidenced by having to loosen my shoe laces every couple of weeks, thought the length seems to be consistent now.

I am able to do much more physically. I run for stress relief and fitness and my times continue to drop, even when I slack a bit. I moved this GIANT planter from my Granny's front porch to the back last weekend and was myself shocked and amazed that I could just bend over and pick up a concrete pot, with dirt and plan and all, and just move it. It was heavy but certainly manageable. Weird. My Granny thought I was going to get a hernia. Funny thought.

My acne is calming down considerably, though I do still get the occasional neck/back volcano type deal. Not pleasant. I am also losing my hair. It has thinned a bit and my hairline has receded significantly. BUT, let's face it, I am a 35 year old man... I SHOULD have a little bit of a receded hairline. And look around sometime, guys have this widows peek thing going most of the time whereas women do not. This whole experience makes me notice these things.

I have been giving myself my shots at home for quite a while now and it has become routine and practically mundane. It is therapeutic, though. Something about drawing the T into the needle and making the deliberate decision to inject every week keeps you connected to and grounded in the process.

Mentally and emotionally I think I am doing ok. I am still seeing a therapist every 3 weeks- she is my hero.

I had some professional disappointments in NOT getting a couple of jobs I thought I was pretty sure to get but I am happy to report that with my new found confidence and disposition, I was able to be present with my disappointment but take it in stride. In the past, it would have freaked me out. Now, I feel sure of myself and that something will work out. I am not saying it is fun to deal with this crappy job market but it sure is easier to do when you are calm and ok inside.

I think that is about it. I will try to write a more reflective entry soon on something a little more insightful. But these are the physical changes for now.